I’ve written a lot of posts about my eczema in the last couple of years, but as I sit here currently going through the worst flare up i’ve experienced in two years I thought I would share exactly what it’s like to live with the condition. No filters, no lies, a complete list of everything I have experienced.
Pain, physical and debilitating pain.
Cracking, weeping, bleeding skin
Ruining endless items of clothing and bedding
No sleep, I consider having four hours a good night
Literally not being comfortable in any way shape or form
Having to take sick days from work
So damn expensive…I could probably open a pharmacy with the amount of creams and products I’ve tried
Trying not to lose the plot when every Tom, Dick and Harry tries to offer their ‘cure’
There is no cure
Yes, I have tried coconut oil…and no it didn’t work
The unbearable itching, where you actually want to tear off your skin
Tears, a lot of tears (I’ve shed a fair few this week alone)
Getting stared at…and then those people taking a step away because they think you have some hideous contagious disease
Being terrified of anything and everything triggering a flare
Thinking you’ve find something that worked and then suddenly flaring, for absolutely no reason.
Not being able to enjoy makeup, perfume or nice clothes and basically living in a baggy t shirt
Having to cancel social events and seeing friends because you literally cannot bear the thought of being away from the comforts of home for more than a few hours
It’s not just a rash, it is horrific, and traumatising and I would not wish it upon my worst enemy
Not even being able to hug my boyfriend without writhing in pain
Trying to tell your dermatologist how you’re feeling is like standing in a room full of people, screaming as loud as you can and nobody noticing….might as well not even bother
Dermatologist will literally just pump you full of more drugs and send you away again
And those drugs (immuno-suppressants in my case) can sometimes have pretty nasty side effects
Topical Steroids….are they good? Are they bad? Have I got topical steroid addiction? Who the hell knows!
The constant risk of infections
During a bad flare…the smell (probs TMI)
Flaring and then feeling guilty because you think it’s your fault
Unless you have eczema yourself please don’t try to educate me on it
It’s truly exhausting, both mentally and physically, and if I had the chance to change one thing about myself it would be to not have it and live a more normal life.
Well, I think that might cover it for now, Eczema isn’t always a minor condition. For some people like myself it can change every aspect of your life. I’m trying to raise awareness about Eczema and the impact it can have.
Whether you have eczema or not, please share this, make people aware, it could make it so much easier for those like me that are so misunderstood, and scared, living with a condition where there is no cure.
pfft. that was exhausting writing that, but it feels good to get all my feelings down on paper!
P.s. I’m running the London Marathon for the National Eczema Society. Sponsor me here!